There are certain lessons that I continue to learn

I am on lake today, in a beautiful old home that's been lovingly, simply restored. I love old things that are cared for and valued. I am with my family and friends and extended family. I am surrounded by trees and water.

Did you know that the trees around a lake are there to act as a filter? Nature is so smart and true.

I sat round a table laughing and sharing with my husband and some dear friends; the children were hanging out and the conversation we were having was peppered with giggles from the children and from the grown ups.

There have been moments on this part of my summer that didn't go quite as planned. There were moments of stress or meltdowns... but still, I work on myself.

I work on myself with care attention and fierce grace. I want to be awake. I want to be true. I don't need to be right. I lean on teachers and I meditate daily. I have good friends who offer themselves to me in such grace and generosity that I'm in awe that I brought this into my life.

In the middle of a stressful moment of our vacation, I walked my talk, and I was reminded why we do the work.

We do the work so that when the shit hits that fan, we can keep steady. The saying, "There is a way through every block" has been living in me ... it's gone from something I read to art on my wall. A constant reminder to a way of life oozing from within me.

there is  way through every block....

I bow to my teachers.
I bow to life for  showing me where there is work still to do
Gently, fiercely, I walk through the days of my life laughing and crying and being all that I am: imperfectly perfect. 

I will face this life with my heart open.  

There are certain lessons that I continue to learn over and over again. Lessons on trust, connection, and letting go. It almost sounds cliche to write that down. (Again). But this is the dance I do that heals and transforms me and my life.

This summer has been filled with work, family, and creativity, and it has nourished me in so many ways. Just walking through NYC, a city that is alive in a way I have never felt anywhere else, does something to my spirit.

I have deepened friendships in during my time here in NYC, and I’ve found the community I’ve been craving. I took a Reiki class from my dear friend Malin … I always knew my hands could heal, and this helped me put it into action. I have made friends with so many people in my neighborhood here in NYC that it will be hard to go back to Los Angeles when I complete this job.

I moved to LA 25 years ago this week. At the time, I had a dream in my heart and few bucks in my pocket. I had no idea how I was going to become an actor, but my dream and my will were so strong, I knew it would happen. I also knew if I didn't try, I'd always regret it. I'm a wee bit reminiscent today thinking of that young girl and her brave heart, and as I head into my 50th year of life, I marvel at the life I have led. The gratitude I have is huge.

I am grateful for this life.
For the trees.
For the tea in my hand.
The honey that sweetens it.
For the clothes on my body.
My sweet mother and my lineage.
My brother and his family.
And my dad.

I'm am grateful for this breath.
And the this breath and this one, too.
I am grateful for my husband.
My children.
My friends and co-workers.
And the animals and plants that are constant reminders to me of the sacredness of this world.

I am grateful to my teachers:
Steven
Owen
Kaden and Frances
And Guru Singh and Paramatma Siri Sadhana.

I am grateful for the women I lean on and I am grateful that I have the wisdom to see the power in being there for them. Gratitude is one of my favorite tools::

I opened my journal today to this:
If every moment opens to something new
"Who will I be?"
Can I breathe into this moment
Fully
Simply
Can I see who is in front of me?
Can I see who I'm with?
Can I notice the gold in the fray of my life?
The pop music on my phone instead of mantra, DJ'd by my 8-year-old ...
I chose to see the magic here.
I choose to surrender.
I let go.
I choose connection.
And instead of wishing for something else,
I can dance with my daughter
I can see her.
 

And because of that
I can truly see me:::

Love,
Carrie-Anne